book/movie review; week 2

Rant by Chuck Palahniuk


Rant is one of those books that makes you crack up laughing, cringe in disgust, and freak out when it throws you for a loop. Presented in the style of an oral biography from the points of view of the deceased protagonist, this book offers a new twist to the trademark Palahniuk style, allowing multiple personalities to emerge and coexist, while not always in a complimentary way. Through differing opinions and perspectives on the same events, the reader can develop their own opinion on the story as it is not completely clear by the end. Surprisingly, a lot of the "stranger" parts of the actual story seem somewhat average compared with "normal" Palahniuk. It isn't even until about 100 pages in does the reader realize that the entire book takes place in a near future dystopia and may very well deal with an awkward Grandfather/mother paradox that makes songs like "I'm My Own Grandpa" take on a new meaning. Even without the awkward incestuous overtones or the somewhat confusing futuristic setting, this book leaves the reader satisfied, even if not to the degree that Survivor or Lullaby do.
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SLC Punk! directed by James Merendino

Why am I reviewing this? An amazing movie that I have revisited time and time again, SLC Punk! is and will always be one of my favorites. I may have a huge issue with the punk culture and the music may not be my absolute favorite, but Matthew Lillard as Stevo and Michael Goorjian as "Heroin" Bob never cease to entertain as they take viewers through a chaotic, hilarious, and, in the end, profound journey during the summer of 1985 in Salt Lake City. It's one of those movies that is a must-see for any of my friends, for anyone who might have a slight interest in fun. Doesn't matter if you're punk and you listen to the Sex Pistols, something clearly stated in the movie. This movie is for anyone who chooses to be different and chooses to think outside the norm. And, of course, for anyone who likes having fun doing it. Watch it.

Varsity Blues directed by Brian Robbins


This is what I get for dating a cheerleader. Sports movies. But this one is actually really good. It has the typical motivational message at the end, the dramatic injury, the pressure from parents and peers, the tough coach, et cetera et cetera. But it also has crazy parties, slutty cheerleaders, stolen cop cars, Kurt Vonnegut, and the ever dreamed of stripper/teacher combo. Not that I care for football, alcohol, whip cream bikinis, or country music This film certainly entertains everyone, from sports diehards, to the ones who will tolerate it because their weird girlfriend feels like yelling at a group of sweaty guys every weekend. If you're just hanging out with some friends and need a decent, fun movie to watch, this is a good choice.


Good Will Hunting directed by Gus Van Sant

This movie proves two things: Gus Van Sant can direct good movies if he really wanted to. And some movies definitely deserve the hype they get. This movie is a must-see for anyone. I'm not even going to say much more than that. What is it about? See it and find out. Who is in it? Shouldn't be too hard to figure out from the above image, but see it anyway. All the actors deliver great performances, and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck deserve the recognition they got for writing it. I don;t know what else to say, just watch it



Scott Pilgrim Versus The World directed by Edgar Wright


This movie was weird. But it made me laugh a lot. I love Michael Cera, and the music was cool and the weird video game motif was different, and yeah. Go see it, it will keep you entertained for a great two hours. Enough said.

Zay.

book/movie journal; week 1

So to get through an ever growing list of novels and movies, I have decided to read at least one novel a week and watch 2-3 films so that I can make a dent in my aspirations as a book nerd and movie junkie.

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Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk

Palahniuk continually delivers masterpiece after masterpiece. For some reason, Invisible Monsters didn't appeal to me when first discovering the author, but I can now appreciate the widespread opinion that this is Chuck at his finest, although Survivor is definitely my own personal favorite. Invisible Monsters follows a woman through her experiences in the fashion world and the trauma after an apparent accident that left her disfigured almost beyond recognition. Using his trademark combination of satire, humor, odd facts, and almost philosophical insights, Palahniuk takes the reader on a high-paced journey through the worlds of plastic surgery, gender reassignment, and drug addiction that will shock the reader, make them laugh, and leave them satisfied and yet anxious for more.




Less than Zero By Bret Easton Ellis

Declared The Catcher in the Rye for the MTV generation, Less Than Zero is the debut novel of Bret Easton Ellis who has gone on to write such novels as American Psycho and Rules of Attraction. Based on personal observation while growing up in California, the story follows Clay as he returns home for the holidays after attending college on the east coast. Minimalistic, the novel explores the ordinary activities of Clay and his friends Blair and Julian and their indulgences in cocaine and casual sex. The novel gives accounts of both the mundane and the extremely shocking in a culture where everyone has everything they could ever ask for and thus has nothing to lose, ending ambiguously with the reader confused with whether to admire Clay at least for his dissatisfaction with his lifestyle and the possible hope of a change or to hate him and his passivity.


I'm now in the middle of Rant by Palahniuk, though I've taken a short break of a day or two so that I can focus on Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte for Ap Lit. As expected, Rant is an entertaining novel, though perhaps less impressive than some of Palahniuk's other works. Wuthering Heights isn't too bad, though I have yet to discover why Heathcliff is apparently so sexy...


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Choke directed by Clark Gregg.

Let's face it. Palahniuk's voice is extremely hard to respectfully and successfully flow onto the movie screen. Edward Norton performance in Fight Club was amazing considering the amount of material he had to deal with in the transition from page to screen. The film adaptation of Choke proved that replicating that kind of success may be very hard to do. Though the acting is actually good and believable, Sam Rockwell's performance as Victor Mancini, a med school drop out sex addict struggling to pay for his mother's medical care, comes off as too comedic, ignoring the aspect of an odd type of philosopher that Palahniuk's protagonist's often display. Granted, portraying the adventures of a con artist/sex addict on screen may be hard to do without there being comedy involved. Still, the lack of internal dialogue or some way to paint Palahniuk's narration more truly to the text manages to change the tone of the entire piece. Though staying true to the novel in respect to plot, the shift in genre through the different mood makes this a disappointing film adaptation of an amazing piece of literature.





Less than Zero directed by Marek Kanievska

I have to admit, I had low expectations from the start. So I can't say that I was necessarily disappointed, because the film version of Less Than Zero just confirmed by assumption that depicting the superficial, shallow California culture of the novel would not go over well in its transition to the screen. Especially in the 80's. Instead of showing the sad truth of the hollowness of the reality of those kids who have ruined their lives and relationships with too much money, casual sex, and cocaine, the movie portrays a cleaned-up shadow of the story. This version bears hardly any resemblance to the book except in title and character name and has become part of some anti-drug crusade that the novel never attached itself to. While an alright film in its own right due to a great performance by Robert Downey Jr. and the good casting call for the role of the drug dealer, the extreme differences from the novel make me very prejudiced towards it, as if the annoying 80's music didn't already do that for me. I just hope that the film adaptations of the the other Ellis novels impress me more, though I've been told not to get my hopes up.

palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk. What a genius.

"Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart."

"Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground."

"When you understand," Brandy says, "that what you're telling is just a story. It isn't happening anymore. When you realize the story you're telling is just words, when you can just crumble up and throw your past in the trashcan," Brandy says, "then we'll figure out who you're going to be."

"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."

"The best way to waste your life is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch."

"Life's greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you."

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.

GHP week 1

Sunday june 13, 2010.
Goodbye e’eybody, ima miss you.
“it’s only after you have lost everything that you are free to do anything”

monday june 14 2010.
The food here sucks.
“if he is not the word of God, then God never spoke”

tuesday june 15 2010.
oh, the social truth of an empty library.
“bless the ones who burned my feet that I should trip and fall for you”

wednesday june 16 2010.
I’ve learned so much in just three days.
“here’s looking at you, kid”

Thursday june 17 2010.
What is love?
“how do you go about expressing these emotions without sounding cliche?”

friday june 18 2010.
today we watched donnie darko.
“nothing is broken in my head”

saturday june 19 2010
chill day.
“Chopper was my first lesson in the vast difference between myth and reality.”

sunday june 20 2010
sleeping in…i miss it.
“and oh how great his love coming down”

everything (else) is meaningless

why is it that we picket the funerals of soldiers and hold hate in our hearts?
how can we protest gay marriage with a cigarette in our hands?
will we still criticize body mutilation as we fall further and further into obesity?
if we oppose our government and its secrecy, won't we end our own slander and greed?
shouldn't we realize that as we wear our trendy vegetarian t-shirts that people are dying at the hands of addition, ignorance, and poverty?

people say that Christians are hypocrites. can we make an attempt to not fit that description?


why is it that Christ spoke against religious hypocrisy much more that he did against the government? can't we realize that we live in a democracy, not a theocracy, and that our job is to be the BODY OF CHRIST, not a nation? let us forget the things of this world, the politics, the economic agendas, and focus on each other. get off your soapbox of conservatism, of liberalism, of trendy fads and cliques, and follow Christ. He is not a t-shirt, a label, an excuse. He is our purpose.

really?

great service today at church.

today the question was asked:
how much do you have to hate someone to not share your faith?

that is, how much do you really have to hate someone to treat their eternity lightly if you believe in heaven and hell. if you truly believe that the person sitting next to you in the bus or plane or classroom could be going to hell, why would you not at least make an attempt to save them? if you knew without a doubt that i was going to get hit by a bus and i refused to believe it, wouldn't there be a point where you would tackle me and try to save me? you are not responsible for my life, but leaving me in ignorance would make you responsible for my death.

this holds true with any religion that teaches one true way. and in today's culture, that idea is extremely unpopular.

whatever works for you, it will all get you to heaven. a car gets you from point A to point B, regardless of the model, right? one might be prettier, one might be faster, one might be louder or more expensive or whatever, but they all get you there. why not with religion? judaism and christianity and islam and hinduism and theism and scientology, they all get you to paradise, to heaven, to life's ultimate goal.

unfortunately, christianity by its very definition cannot be included in this list. christianity cannot be considered one of many ways to God and heaven. you believe it or you don't. you cannot be a fan of Christ, you cannot be a Christian and still accept other faiths as possible or just as right as your own. Christ did not give us the option.

in the words of CS Lewis, Christ is either Lord, a lunatic, or a liar. He did not give us the option of teacher, role model, nice guy, or philosopher.

either crown Him king, call Him crazy, or kill Him.

if our destination is eternal life in heaven with God, how do we get there? we must live this life for the next. acknowledge that this world is temporary and build our lives around our goal.

here's where Christ ends the possibility of faith in Him being one of many equally correct ways to God. in John 14:6, he declares "I AM the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

if you believe that Christianity is one of many ways to God, you are saying that Christ is God who came to earth, left His glory for 33 years, became a hugely controversial and hated figure by the smartest men of His time, was betrayed by a friend and imprisoned on false charges, was beaten, spat on, flogged, and pierced with a crown of thorns to then have to carry his own cross up a hill so that liars and hypocrites that He is trying to save could drive nails through His hands and feet and die naked, humiliated, and bleeding after suffocating to death all for one more option. you are saying that God himself chose to sacrifice Himself for one more way among the many other, completely solid options. if you say that there is more than one way to heaven, you are making Christ's death and sacrifice irrelevant and pointless.

Christianity wasn't "invented" to be a politically correct, all is fair, happily-ever-after fairytale.

He is not an option pointing to heaven. He is the road to heaven. THE way. not one of many vessels to help carry you there. not one of 10 different models that all travel point from point A to point B. all other ways, all other roads, lead to nowhere. the core of the Christian faith is the belief in one way to heaven, that is Christ. not an 8 lane highway to heaven for different models of vessels, for different religions, to carry you there.

so as a Christian, my duty is to share this. not stand by and pretend to be okay with the other choices. no i cannot control you, and you are ultimately responsible for what you believe. but it is not intolerance that leads me to want to share. it is a sincere belief that i may be the only person to tell you what i belief to be true.

and if you sincerely believe that i am wrong and that i am sending myself to hell or whatever, please preach to me. please try to convince me. if you think i am sending myself to hell and you will just stand by for fear of a socially awkward situation, do not call yourself friend.

the beauty of this is, this was said by an atheist. an outspoken opponent of organized religion, Christianity in particular, Penn of Penn & Teller asked the question:

"how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?"

i want hell to know my name.

she has never written a bad song.

This is how it works: you're young until you're not.

You love until you don't.

You try until you can't.

You laugh until you cry.

You cry until you laugh.

And everyone must breathe until their dying breath.

(regina spektor- "on the radio")

the/goat

I am the pride I am the lust I am the burning ache I am the you you always were I am eternal fake I am the beast I am the snake I am the love of self I am your heart I am your soul I am the living hell

So open up and let it in. I'm not afraid of anything, I never have been. Burn me up, swallow me, turn me up, follow me.

I am the drip I am the creep I am the ugly truth I am the dirt I am the pain I am inside of you I am the cries I am the lies I am the empty I am the ever growing hole Growing inside of me

No future for anyone

I am the end I am the waste I am the hollow shell I am the numb I am the trash I am the god of self I am the death I am the filth I am the everything I am inside I am alive I am the anything

You can't save yourself

I am the faith that melts away I am the open mouth I am the ache that eats away I am the restless doubt I am the life that ends in tears No point to anything But I am my own

I am I am I am I am

I am the road that leads to no where I'm the nothing I am the tentacles that tangle you I'm the empty I am me I am myself I am I, I am the only thing

I am the never ending lie

(showbread "the goat")

worship

Remember Him for He remembers us.

1 Corinthians 11:23-26

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

new life

die to live.

Romans 6:1-4
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

"the most wretched of deaths"

it's interesting how the symbol of so much pain is the symbol of triumph.

2 Corinthians 5:21
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin,
so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

did we not murder you?

Look at you now just standing there

Like you think you're something
The lights are up
And the crowd is looking your way
Just waiting for what you have to say

So go ahead boy,
Give 'em a little taste of hypocrisy
And maybe a hint of blasphemy
Whatever you're preaching, it isn't me

These people don't look to me no more
They've got their idols in various forms
With lust in their eyes
They crave for more
Take their place with the corporate carnivores
Whoa! keep your focus
Because the day will come
When everyone will give account
For what they've done
Make me proud
Make me proud my son

Look at this broken world
Look at this broken world
Look at my children, oh
They're already gone
Sing to me the love song
Look up
Say your prayers on the steps of the capital
Say your prayers on your knees
Say your prayers
Oh, Look up
Say your prayers

You want it to be like you always thought it would
But all you seem to accomplish is the opposite

You wanna walk with me?
Do ya? wanna walk with me?
Well if you love me
Then just love me
Don't you give me pretty words
Lend your life down at the altar
Let me see how serious you are

(the wedding - "say your prayers")

faith hope charity

losing our faith along the way and found ourselves believing your lies

Well I used to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
There's a lot of me inside you
Maybe you're afraid to see

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my God for this one
He signs his name with a capital G

"GREED"

(nine inch nails - "capital g")

[daisy]

I'm a mountain that has been moved.
I'm a river that is all dried up.
I'm an ocean nothing floats on.
I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in.
I'm a sun that doesn't burn hot.
I'm a moon that never shows it's face.
I'm a mouth that doesn't smile.
I'm a word that no one ever wants to say.

I'm a mountain that has been moved.
I'm a fugitive that has no legs to run.
I'm a preacher with no pulpit,
spewing a sermon that goes on and on.

Take all those things and I'll bury the past,
and pray that they turn to seeds to roots and then grass
and be alright. It's alright.
It'll be easier that way.

Well then the sky opened up and started pouring rain,
like He knew it was time to start things over again
and be alright. It's alright.
It'll be easier that way.

(brand new - "daisy")

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters.

Amalgam. Collaboration. Combination. Hybrid. Fusion.

Adulteration. Debasement. Phony. Counterfeit. Pretender.

Is this all we get for our lives? I am nothing but a reflection of what I aspire to be. I am one of a generation of conceit, complaints, and irresponsibility. I ask for the government to be my nanny, father, mother, brother, sister, friend, and hero. I have no thoughts for my own. They are invalids, vegetables, corpses, hand-me-downs. They are nothing.
Is this all we get for our lives? I am everything I never wanted to be. I am the archetype for the entire human race. For everything I want to change. The prototype, the patriarch, the voice of my generation. The role model, the end all be all.
Is this all we get for our lives? In my endless dreams, I have endless wealth. My wallet is a bottomless pit, and it is all I can do to stop myself from crying: just think of all that I can buy. Give me a brand name, a stamp of approval. Let me fit in. Dull my senses. Alcohol, sex, the Internet. It’s not lazy, we’re Americans. I’m not drunk, I just drink socially. I am justified because; I am right because.
Is this all we get for our lives? Languages rot; our thoughts decay into nothing because we do not think. We do not know. Push repeat. Tick tock. Cynicism, greed, and laziness. Want ethic versus work ethic. Welcome to the neighborhood. I pledge allegiance to America myself. My Self, My God.

We are lost. I am lost.

I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am

Is this all we get for our lives? I know that I am part of the problem. I am disgusted with myself. I proudly proclaim that I am guilty by association. But is this all we get?

We are lost. I am lost.

And yet I have a newfound sense of clarity. A momentary lapse into reason. I know that the chaos will end. The endless waves of sound, sight, and feeling will one day give way to peace. Monotone, monochrome, and bleak, the world will pass away into Technicolor, beauty, and hope. I know this. The shadow proves the sunshine. The night is darkest before dawn.
I know that “after the fire, a still small voice.”

We are lost. I am lost.

I want to be lost in a sense of elation. Lost in hope. Lost in love. Lost in freedom. Lost in humor. Lost in knowledge. Lost in thought. Lost in prayer. Lost in worship. Lost in song. Lost in peace. Lost in individualism. Lost in fellowship. Hiding, I am protected inside the wounds of sacrifice. Drowning, I die to myself so that I may be reborn, greater than before.
This is what I have been given for my life. And I will lose myself in it. I will not waste a second.
This is the art of losing myself.


selah.

the pursuit of happiness

my eyes widen and I saw the finish line before me.
a feeling of elation swept over me
as I revel in
the memories of grandeur
and my countless accomplishments.

and as I cross life's finish line
and all its finality and joyous release,
a horrible question crept into my skull.

what was the point?

(showbread - "what to ask yourself before you die")

on top of bruised foundations

We're a nation full of dumbbells
Pulling nightshifts at the gym
We're a nation full of bookworm girls
Dumbing down to fall in love with them

We're a nation full of suspects
Whistling Dixie at the scene
We're a nation full of bad detectives
Selling clues to everyone we meet

We're a nation full of envy
Insecure and losing sleep
We're a nation full of jealous boyfriends
Driven by facts and history

We're a nation full of ivy
It's wall-to-wall-to-wall, all green
We're a nation full of sound byte blood cells
Bound in knots and swelling down the stream

We wrap bibles up in blankets
Just in case we're watched in sleep
But it's the slingshots underneath our pillows
That keep us calm and rested and relieved

'Cause we're a nation built on eggshells
Bandages and appleseeds
Attractive homes on top of bruised foundations
That come apart gradually
Before they're leveled completely

(Kevin Devine - "Whistlin' Dixie")

cotton crush

there's a microphone
picking every word up
and it will shut itself off
when it's sure that it's heard enough.

The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed.
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out.

Let's sift through the static
To find a simpler sound.
A simpler sound than the shit that's clouding our heads now.

(Kevin Devine - "Cotton Crush")

brinksmanship

"
      While I’m writing this, my mother calls to say my grandfather’s had a series of strokes. He’s unable to swallow, and his lungs are filling with fluid. A friend, maybe my best friend, calls to say he has lung cancer. My grandfather’s five hours away. My friend’s across town. Me, I have work to do.
      The waitress used to say, “What will you be doing when you’re old men?”
      I used to tell her, “I’ll worry about that when I get there.”
      If I get there.
      I’m writing this right on deadline.
      My brother-in-law used to call this behavior “brinksmanship,” the tendency to leave things until the last moment, to imbue them with more drama and stress and appear the hero by racing the clock.
      “Where I was born,” Georgia O’Keefe used to say, “and were and how I lived is unimportant.”
      She said, “It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of any interest.”

      I’m sorry if this all seems a little rushed and desperate.
      It is.

"

chuck palahniuk, stranger than fiction

a hole in fabric of my sanity

"Madness is entirely relative and perhaps comes and goes in frequent or infrequent bouts. Madness grows like a bubble, trapping the infected inside so that the uninfected can watch it all happen. This is madness. Or is madness the doorway through which we enter into freedom? Freedom might not specifically entail the game of “don’t get burned” or destroying one’s dinner on purpose, but such a flagrant disregard for creature comforts and our ideas of order help us to let go of that which does not matter in order to make more room for that which truly does. Certainly embracing pain and recklessness so thoroughly or the destruction of one’s money and material possessions isn’t at all necessary, but it does work to eliminate the fear of pain and poverty. Eventually, that which truly matters might be all that is in our minds before our lives bring us to the point where that which truly matters is literally all that we have, creating a convenient segue from madness into wisdom."
-Josh Dies

i havent posted anything in awhile. too bad this was supposed to be a once daily thing. maybe i'll get to that. my new novel slightly took over, along with the renewal of my plan to finish my chuck palahniuk library and read the bible all the way through...which are two interesting goals when paired together.